Good, healthy love feels relaxed and comfortable. This does not mean there will not be differences or arguments. One can argue comfortably because there is respect, and when you are reaching a war zone you realize it is better to stop before you hurt your partner. You both know that it’s not a matter of winning or losing. It’s not a competition.
Communication, as we know, is one of the most important factors in a relationship. Being able to communicate and to pass on to your partner a message without interference is key in a healthy relationship. When there is love between two people who are responsible for their words or their acts, no one is afraid of being misunderstood and communication is clear, even when what is being said may be painful or irritating.
Good communication does not leave doubts or double meanings, and it never tries to get a speculative advantage of the other. Arguments are used in a positive way, arguments are used to build agreements.
In love, the other one is always on the same side of the street, although his or her thinking may be different because caring is what is most important in the relationship. As you see, true love is the one that has gone past the barriers of being in love and the narcissistic period of the relationship.
In love, there is happiness for the other's happiness. His or her own existence produces happiness; this is only possible with people who feel free, sure of themselves, independent and satisfied with their own lives.
People with the capacity to love are generous and thankful. They value their present and don't cry over what they never had or think they should have had. They have a great capacity to learn and a hopeful outlook on life.
In your opinion, what other points make a relationship healthy?
Patricia Faur - Estres conyugal, Ediciones B, Bs. As., 2011.
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