Thirty Something

You know that song "Paradise" by Coldplay? there is a part that says: "life goes on, it gets so heavy..."

After thirty, people start to have issues. Not that we don't have them before but when we're twenty, for example, who cares if we screw up? I mean isn't that what young people do? At thirty, however, it's a different story and we become more demanding of ourselves. We expect something more from our lives.

Deep conversations with people in their thirties, friends mostly, have led me to realise the diversity of needs and wishes that people have:

- Some are looking for a partner.

- Some people want to quit their jobs and get a ticket to go see the world.

- Some are looking for a job (or a better job)

- Some are looking for a new apartment or house.

- Some want a husband who is more connected to the family.

- Some people want to make more money.

- Others want a divorce.

- Some people want kids.

- Some people want to fall in love with their partner all over again.

- Some men want their wives to work or study or just do something different than spend all day with the kids.

- Some want to have sex with their wives again.

- Some people don't know what they want.


Those are just some examples, but the important thing, I think, is to not feel alone in whatever your "search" is. Just remember that there are many people in their thirties with issues just like you. Remember also, that there is a direct link between how we see the world, the actions we take and the results we get.

Once we understand this, we are free to make the change or changes that will bring us closer to our truest wishes and needs.

Observer

Peter de Meyer

Happy Valentine's Day

Image via imgfave.com

Friends

She's told me that I'm "the sister she never had" imagine what a thrill that is.

She makes me laugh until tears fall out and my stomach hurts. She makes fun of me when I'm too serious. She questions me. Sometimes, she makes me think that I'm brilliant and sometimes that my ideas are too naïf.

She trusts me and tells me everything openly and honestly.

She believes in me.

Her heart is infinite. If I say that I like her shoes she'll ask if I'd like to change them for mine. If you like a lamp or even a piece of furniture in her house, she will say "take it".
She gives for the pleasure of giving.

We've studied and worked together and she has always challenged me when I have not met her expectations (or my own) because she expects more, because she knows I am capable of more and does not want me to settle for less. She is passionate about the things she does and does not like mediocrity.

When I have a negative view of myself, she gives me thoughtful words, she cheers me up, or she's simply there.

I met her in class at the university. I was lucky.

Every year we travel to "some" place. We meet, we choose the place and after a short time, we're gone!

Last year I had surgery. When I was about to receive anesthesia, the doctor told me: "Now think of something nice" and I saw my friend! Yes, I saw both of us in a convertible car going from Carmel to San Francisco. We were singing and laughing. I imagined I had a handkerchief in my head, and that it flew. Eventually, we took this trip and it was better than I had imagined.

If I had to "think of something nice" again, I would imagine us dancing. She dances with this same step since we were 20; one hand up in the air, perhaps a drink in her other hand and always a smile in her face as she moves to the rhythm of the music.

Last November we went to Barcelona. She posted a few photos of our trip but I wanted to add more words to those photos. On that trip, we were lucky to meet other friends. Good friends, like us. We all met on a train, on our way to a bike tour of the vineyards in Spain. The four of us became close friends (you know, depth of friendship does not entirely depend on how long you know someone) and spent almost every day together til our journey ended. One of them lived in Washington D.C. and was visiting the other who was living in Barcelona. On a cold Saturday afternoon we separated from our new friends. It was time for everyone to part. It was weird to say bye.

On our way to the airport my friend was quiet. I thought she was sleepy but later on she said that she was feeling a bit emotional; that as we drove away from the city in the taxi, she re-lived every moment of our trip.

I think friends are a gift and I am thankful for the few, good ones that I have and for the memories that we create together.

Hugs!

Post by: Valeria Mendez Cañas

she, he

"That was one of the saddest things about people- their most important thoughts and feelings often went unspoken and barely understood. -A.Adornetto



photo- whiskey straight

"dusa"

It's always good to ask ourselves questions, no? here are some good ones.


Do you live well?
Do you love deeply?
Are you helpful?

and Three more:

Who are you?
What would you like to do with the rest of your life?
How will you do it?

Knowing ourselves is key in order to define what we want and how to accomplish it.