Personal Scripts - how they impact our lives

Personal scripts are the narratives we construct throughout our lives, shaping our beliefs, attitudes, behaviors, and decisions. These scripts are the stories we tell ourselves about who we are, what we're capable of, and what our role is in the world. They are influenced by our upbringing, experiences, culture, and the people around us, creating a lens through which we view ourselves and others.

From a young age, we begin to develop these scripts, internalizing messages from parents, caregivers, teachers, and peers. These messages can be both positive and negative, and they form the foundation of our self-concept. For example, a child repeatedly told that they are intelligent and talented may develop a script of confidence and high self-esteem, while a child constantly criticized may develop a script of self-doubt and insecurity.

As we grow older, these scripts solidify and become deeply ingrained in our minds. They act as a guide, directing our choices and influencing our reactions to various situations. Our personal scripts can be empowering, motivating us to pursue our goals and dreams, or limiting, holding us back from reaching our full potential.

Positive scripts can act as a source of strength during challenging times. They can foster resilience, perseverance, and an optimistic outlook. Conversely, negative scripts can become self-fulfilling prophecies, leading us to reinforce limiting beliefs and patterns of behavior.

One of the critical aspects of personal scripts is that they often operate on an unconscious level. We may not even be aware of their existence, yet they play a significant role in shaping our lives. This lack of awareness can be problematic, as it hinders our ability to challenge and modify scripts that are hindering our growth and happiness.

Fortunately, with self-reflection, introspection, psychotherapy and other forms of professional guidance, we can uncover these scripts and their impact on our lives. By understanding our personal scripts we gain the power to rewrite and reshape them to better align with our aspirations and values.

Here are some ways in which personal scripts influence our lives:

Self-image: Personal scripts heavily influence how we perceive ourselves. A positive script can boost our self-confidence, while a negative one can foster self-doubt and low self-esteem.

Decision-making: Our scripts affect the choices we make. They may lead us to embrace opportunities that align with our positive scripts or avoid challenges that clash with our negative scripts.

Relationships: Personal scripts can impact our interactions with others. They can influence the types of people we attract into our lives and the dynamics we create within our relationships. When patients feel frustrated about certain aspects of their relationships, I sometimes ask them to think about what could be affecting their current/ past romantic relationships and normally, if there has been conflict, it tends to be similar to the dynamic observed at home at a young age (when we are still unable to process harsh interactions); Or they may act out what they were told by their parents /caregivers about relationships; If not talked about and properly processed (through thought, awareness, meditation, running, psychotherapy, etc.) these interaction patterns can persist as scripts in our own relationships. Therefore, a person who had an emotionally abusive parent may not be able to emotionally connect with anyone at a profound level, making relationships quite uphill. On the other hand, a person who had loving parents who were relatively skillful at their relationship, parents that were kind and respectful to each other and their kids, neighbors, etc., may themselves have more positive resources to engage in meaningful and lasting relationships. Needless to say, there are no general rules, but in many years of practice I have heard patients replicate behaviors they were modeled- until becoming aware, via therapy and/or introspective practices. 

Achievement: Our beliefs about our abilities, often shaped by our scripts, can affect our level of ambition and our willingness to pursue success.

Resilience: Scripts play a role in how we respond to adversity. A positive script can help us bounce back from setbacks, while a negative one may hinder our ability to cope effectively.

Habits: Our daily habits and routines are often guided by personal scripts. Changing these scripts can lead to the establishment of healthier behaviors.

Growth and Learning: Personal scripts can influence our attitude towards learning and personal development. Embracing a growth mindset can help challenge limiting scripts and encourage continuous improvement.

It's essential to become conscious of our personal scripts and critically evaluate their impact on our lives. By recognizing and challenging negative scripts, we can take steps to reframe them into more positive and constructive narratives. This process of script transformation can be empowering, enabling us to break free from self-imposed limitations and unlock our true potential.

In conclusion, personal scripts are the invisible threads that weave through the fabric of our lives. They shape our perceptions, attitudes, and actions, ultimately influencing the direction we take and the fulfillment we find in our journey. By actively examining and rewriting these scripts, we can embrace a more authentic and purposeful existence, leading to greater happiness, success, and personal growth.

Jealousy and its Impact on Romantic Relationships: Nurturing Trust and Emotional Security

Jealousy, a complex and powerful emotion, often emerges within romantic relationships. While it is normal to experience occasional feelings of jealousy, unchecked and excessive jealousy can have a significant impact on the dynamics and well-being of a romantic partnership. In this piece, we will explore the nature of jealousy and delve into its potential consequences, emphasizing the importance of fostering trust, communication, and emotional security in relationships.

Understanding Jealousy:

Jealousy typically stems from a fear of losing the affection, attention, or loyalty of a partner to a perceived rival. It may be triggered by actual threats or by childhood experiences, past experiences with loved ones, imagined scenarios fueled by insecurities, or personal vulnerabilities. Recognizing jealousy as a natural human emotion is the first step toward addressing and managing it constructively.

Erosion of Trust:

Jealousy can erode the foundation of trust that sustains healthy relationships. When jealousy becomes pervasive, it leads to doubt, suspicion, and constant questioning of a partner's actions and motives. This constant surveillance can suffocate the relationship, creating an atmosphere of tension, secrecy, and resentment. Trust, once damaged, takes time and effort to rebuild, and without it, the relationship may suffer irreparable harm.

Communication Breakdown:

Unchecked jealousy often results in communication breakdown between partners. Rather than openly discussing concerns, fears, and insecurities, jealous individuals may resort to passive-aggressive behavior, accusations, or withdrawal. Effective communication, characterized by honesty, empathy, and active listening, is crucial for addressing jealousy and working through its underlying causes.

Strained Emotional Connection:

Jealousy can strain the emotional connection between partners. The constant need for reassurance, possessiveness, and controlling behavior can smother the sense of freedom, autonomy, and individuality within the relationship. As a result, the emotional intimacy and shared vulnerability that contribute to a healthy partnership may be compromised, leading to feelings of resentment, isolation, or even the deterioration of the relationship.

Negative Emotional Impact:

Jealousy takes a toll on both individuals involved in the relationship. The jealous partner experiences persistent anxiety, insecurity, and a sense of inadequacy, while the recipient of jealousy may feel unfairly scrutinized, distrusted, and emotionally drained. Over time, these negative emotions can lead to emotional exhaustion and a decline in overall relationship satisfaction.

Building Trust and Emotional Security:

Addressing jealousy requires a joint effort to rebuild trust and foster emotional security. Open and honest communication, expressing needs and fears without judgment, is crucial. 

Cultivating trust through transparency, reliability, and consistent actions strengthens the foundation of the relationship. Additionally, individual self-reflection and personal growth help address insecurities and develop a stronger sense of self-worth, contributing to a healthier relationship dynamic.

While jealousy is a common emotion, its impact on romantic relationships should not be underestimated. Recognizing and addressing jealousy in a constructive manner is vital for nurturing trust, fostering open communication, and creating emotional security. By cultivating a foundation of trust, understanding, and empathy, couples can navigate the complexities of jealousy and build resilient and fulfilling partnerships. Remember, it is through mutual support and a shared commitment to growth that relationships can thrive amidst the challenges of jealousy.

The Detrimental Effects of Repression: Unveiling the Path to Emotional Liberation

Repression, the act of suppressing or denying thoughts, feelings, or desires, has long been a topic of interest in psychology and human behavior. While it may initially seem like a defense mechanism to protect ourselves from discomfort, repression ultimately leads to negative consequences for our mental, emotional and physical well-being. 

In this piece, we will delve into the reasons why repression is not a positive approach and explore the importance of embracing our emotions and experiences.

Emotional Suppression:

Repression involves burying or ignoring our authentic emotions, which can lead to a buildup of unresolved psychological tension. By suppressing feelings such as anger, sadness, or fear, we deny ourselves the opportunity to process and understand these emotions. Over time, repressed emotions can manifest as anxiety, depression, or even physical ailments, as the body and mind struggle to contain the emotional weight.

Impaired Relationships:

Repression affects not only our internal landscape but also our interpersonal connections. When we repress our emotions, we may struggle to express ourselves honestly and authentically in our relationships. This can create barriers to intimacy, communication, and understanding, as our true thoughts and feelings remain hidden. In turn, repressed emotions can lead to resentment, frustration, and misunderstandings, eroding the quality of our relationships.

Stunted Personal Growth:

Suppressing our emotions inhibits personal growth and self-awareness. Emotions serve as valuable signals, guiding us towards our needs, desires, and areas for growth. 

By repressing these signals, we deny ourselves the opportunity to learn and develop as individuals. Exploring and embracing our emotions allows us to gain insights, develop empathy, and foster emotional intelligence, which are crucial for personal growth and self-fulfillment.

Emotional Release and Healing:

Repression prevents the natural process of emotional release and healing. Emotions are meant to be felt, acknowledged, and processed. By embracing and expressing our emotions in healthy ways, we allow ourselves to experience catharsis and find closure. Repression, on the other hand, traps unresolved emotions within us, leading to a persistent emotional burden that hinders our overall well-being.

Authenticity and Self-Acceptance:

Repression obscures our authentic selves. By denying certain emotions or aspects of our experiences, we create a fragmented version of ourselves that is detached from reality. True self-acceptance and self-love come from embracing the full range of our emotions, both positive and negative. By acknowledging and accepting our emotions, we foster a sense of authenticity, self-compassion, and a deeper understanding of who we are.

Repression then, may provide temporary relief from emotional discomfort, but the long-term consequences are detrimental to our mental and emotional health. 

Embracing our emotions, acknowledging their presence, and finding healthy outlets for their expression are essential for our overall well-being. By embracing emotional liberation, we can cultivate self-awareness, forge meaningful connections, and embark on a journey of personal growth and fulfillment. Let us strive to create a world where authenticity and emotional openness are valued, nurturing our collective well-being.

Positive effects of Nature in humans

Nature holds a captivating power that makes us feel good and contributes to our well-being. From breathtaking landscapes to the smallest intricacies of life, our connection to the natural world has a profound impact on our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. There are many positive effects of nature in humans. Here are some.

Physical Health:

The natural world offers numerous avenues for physical activity and recreation, promoting a healthy lifestyle. Engaging in outdoor activities such as hiking, swimming, or cycling stimulates our bodies and enhances cardiovascular fitness. Also, remember that regular exposure to sunlight also aids in vitamin D synthesis, strengthening our bones and immune system.  

Mental Well-being:

Nature acts as a powerful antidote to the stresses and anxieties of modern life. Being in natural surroundings fosters a sense of tranquility and peace, reducing levels of stress, depression, and anxiety. From a biological perspective, spending time in green spaces can lower cortisol levels, a hormone associated with stress, while simultaneously increasing endorphin release, promoting feelings of happiness and contentment.

Cognitive Benefits:

Nature has a remarkable impact on our cognitive abilities and mental acuity. Spending time in natural environments improves attention span, memory, and problem-solving skills. The restorative effect of nature helps replenish our mental resources, allowing us to concentrate better and enhance our overall cognitive performance.

Emotional Resilience:

Nature has the power to evoke profound emotions within us. Whether it's the awe-inspiring sight of a mountain range, the gentle sway of trees in the breeze, or the melodic chirping of birds, these experiences foster a sense of connection, wonder, and awe. Such positive emotions have been linked to increased resilience, empathy, and a broader perspective on life's challenges. Ever watched an ant closely and for a while? 

Healing and Restoration:

The healing properties of nature have been recognized for centuries. Exposure to natural environments has been associated with accelerated recovery rates from physical ailments, reduced pain perception, and shorter hospital stays. The serenity and beauty of nature provide solace and comfort, aiding in emotional healing and providing a sense of hope.

Connection and Social Bonding:

Nature acts as a common thread that connects people. Sharing outdoor experiences with others strengthens social bonds and fosters a sense of community. Whether it'sengaging in group activities like gardening, picnics, or nature walks, or simply enjoying the company of loved ones amidst nature's splendor, these shared moments forge deep connections and enhance our social well-being.

The positive effects of nature on humans are undeniable. From the physical benefits of an active lifestyle to the profound impact on mental, emotional, and social well-being, our connection to the natural world is essential for a balanced and fulfilling life. As we navigate the demands of the modern world, let us not forget to immerse ourselves in the wonders of nature and reap the countless rewards it bestows upon us.

What are the symptoms of ADHD?

 ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) is a neurodevelopmental disorder that is typically diagnosed in childhood but can persist into adulthood. The symptoms of ADHD can vary depending on the individual and can be categorized into three main types: inattentive type, hyperactive-impulsive type, and combined type. It's important to note that a diagnosis should be made by qualified healthcare professionals such as psychologist and neurologists, based on a comprehensive evaluation. Here are some common symptoms associated with ADHD: 

Inattentive type symptoms:

- Difficulty paying attention to details and making careless mistakes.

- Trouble sustaining focus on tasks or activities, such as schoolwork or conversations.

- Easily distracted by unrelated stimuli.

- Difficulty organizing tasks and activities.

- Frequently losing or misplacing things necessary for tasks.

- Forgetfulness and often being forgetful in daily activities.

Hyperactive-impulsive type symptoms:

- Restlessness, constantly fidgeting, or feeling restless.

- Difficulty staying seated and an urge to move around excessively.

- Talking excessively and having difficulty waiting for one's turn.

- Frequently interrupting or intruding on others' conversations or activities.

- Impatience and difficulty engaging in activities that require sustained mental effort.

- Combined type symptoms (a combination of inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive symptoms):

 The symptoms can include those mentioned above from both categories.

It's worth noting that these symptoms should be observed to a degree that is inconsistent with the person's developmental level and significantly impairs their functioning in various areas of life, such as academics, work, and interpersonal relationships. If you suspect you or someone you know may have ADHD, it's important to seek a professional evaluation for an accurate diagnosis and treatment. 

 Nurturing Mental Health: The Path to Well-Being and Therapy

In today's fast-paced and demanding world, mental health has emerged as a vital aspect of our overall well-being. As our understanding of mental health expands, the importance of addressing it has become increasingly evident. Your questions about the current state of your life, the significance of mental health, the pursuit of well-being, and the role of therapy are essential when it comes to fostering a healthier and more fulfilling life.

Mental health refers to a person's emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how individuals think, feel, and act, influencing their ability to handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. Mental health is not merely the absence of mental illness; rather, it encompasses a state of positive mental and emotional functioning.

Achieving well-being goes beyond the absence of mental illness. It involves actively nurturing our mental health and adopting strategies to promote resilience, balance, and fulfillment. Well-being encompasses various dimensions, including emotional, physical, social, and spiritual aspects of our lives.

Emotional well-being is about understanding and managing our emotions effectively, while physical well-being focuses on taking care of our bodies through exercise, nutrition, and rest. Social well-being emphasizes the quality of our relationships and connections with others. Lastly, spiritual well-being involves finding meaning, purpose, and inner peace in life.

The Role of Therapy:

Therapy plays a crucial role in supporting individuals' mental health and overall well-being. It provides a safe and non-judgmental space for individuals to explore their thoughts, emotions, and experiences. Through therapy, individuals can gain insight, develop coping mechanisms, and learn effective strategies to navigate life's challenges.

Therapy comes in various forms, including psychotherapy, counseling, and cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). Psychotherapy focuses on addressing deep-rooted emotional issues, while counseling provides guidance and support for specific concerns. CBT helps individuals identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to mental distress.

Therapy offers numerous benefits, such as improved self-awareness, enhanced coping skills, and increased resilience. It can assist in managing symptoms of mental illnesses, reducing stress, and improving relationships. Additionally, therapy serves as a preventive measure, as it can help individuals identify and address potential mental health issues before they escalate.

Promoting Mental Health in Society:

Creating a mentally healthy society requires a collective effort. Governments, communities, and individuals must work together to promote mental health awareness, reduce stigma, and provide accessible resources for support and treatment. Education plays a vital role in fostering understanding and empathy, helping individuals recognize the importance of mental health and seek appropriate help when needed.

Moreover, self-care practices are essential in maintaining and nurturing mental health. Engaging in activities that bring joy, practicing mindfulness and meditation, maintaining a healthy work-life balance, and seeking social support can significantly contribute to overall well-being.

Mental health and well-being are fundamental to leading a fulfilling and meaningful life. Acknowledging the significance of mental health and actively pursuing well-being is essential for personal growth and resilience. Therapy serves as a valuable tool in this journey, offering support, guidance, and strategies to overcome challenges and enhance overall mental health. By prioritizing mental health, promoting awareness, and fostering supportive environments, we can collectively build a society that values and nurtures the mental well-being of all its members.

Sexteto Mayor - La passion règne.

Did you have a nice weekend?


So this is what I went to see on Saturday at the ND theatre, here in Buenos Aires. It was a one-time show to celebrate the group's 40 years! the amazing thing is, that two of it's original members* are still part of the group. They both play the violin. It was a beautiful show, I feel so lucky to have seen them! After the show I wanted to learn more about this sextet (which left me speechless) and here is what I found:


The Sexteto Mayor is a tango music ensemble founded in April 23, 1973 by Luis Stazo and José Libertella.  Since it's early days, the sextet has conducted tours around the world. This has led them to become the most famous Argentinian tango sextet in the world. Sexteto Mayor has received numerous awards including the Latin American Grammy in 2003.

Botero

Here's a nice plan, if you like Botero.

The Fine Arts Museum has inaugurated the exhibition “Botero, drawings on canvas and paper”, a display of 50 drawings from his personal collection.

The exhibition is divided into five "chapters": the first is devoted to Latin American life, the source of inspiration for Botero. Botero portrays the life of the town and its characters, costumes, architecture, habits and rituals. The second "chapter" focuses on the theme of violence and bullfighting. The third "chapter" is dedicated to the circus. The fourth to large-scale works, with many still lives. And the fifth is devoted to music.

Enjoy! 
M

National Museum of Fine Arts: Avenida del Libertador 1473, Buenos Aires.
May 21 to June 30, 2013

Happy World Environment day!

This year's theme is think-eat-save.

The global food production occupies 25% of all habitable land and is responsible for 70% of fresh water consumption, 80% of deforestation, and 30% of greenhouse gas emissions. It is the largest single driver of biodiversity loss and land-use change.

Making informed decisions therefore means, for example, that you purposefully select foods that have less of an environmental impact, such as organic foods that do not use chemicals in the production process. Choosing to buy locally can also mean that foods are not flown halfway across the world and therefore limit emissions.  
 
So something simple like thinking before you eat can positively contribute to our environment and make you feel GOOD also, cause it's healthier to eat organic. 

Vacations in the dark

Hi! did you have a nice weekend?

So, if you're in town and have a minimum understanding of the Spanish language, here's a fun play to go watch at the theatre. It's about relationships. A couple that has been in one for a long time decides to take DANCING lessons to get out of the routine.

One of the first things that came to my mind after watching the play is that relationships are complicated, of course, we all know THAT. But, with all the complications and hardships, misunderstandings and trivial (non-happening) things that happen in a fairly solid relationship, it's still good to be in a relationship. Don't you think?

The play touches the subject of monogamy and one of the characters says something like "it can make people crazy" but, in my opinion it can make people crazier to NOT be in a monogamous relationship. For example, at one point, one of the characters says how much "we need space" when we are in a long-term relationship. This character is talking to another person who has never been in a serious, long-lasting relationship. This person (the one who has never been in a relationship)says "really?? you need space?? and continues... "all I've ever known in my life is space. It must be nice to NEED SPACE". Although the play is mostly funny, it does have some sad parts. It also talks about blindness (therefore, the name "vacations in the dark"). When we are blinded by love. How we sometimes CHOOSE to be blind. And perhaps, more importantly, WHY we sometimes "decide" to look the other way.
I don't intend to tell you the whole story, but, I do recommend you see the play, cause it does make you laugh and think.

Enjoy!
Love,
M

Where? Paseo La Plaza, Buenos Aires.

A therapy session

all you have to do is ask

Which one do you think is missing?

Five: the blog

Anything you want

"Some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something. Unless you've lived so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all. In which case you failed by default.

 J.K. Rowling - Harvard Speech 2008

making space for desire ♥

Some people want everything and then when they accumulate things, they don't feel as good as they thought they would feel. 

Jacques Lacan, a prominent figure in the field of psychiatry and psychoanalysis, introduced the concept of lack as a fundamental aspect of human existence. According to Lacanian theory, the human psyche is structured around the idea of a fundamental lack. This lack is not simply a physical or material absence but a symbolic and psychological void that profoundly influences an individual's well-being and sense of identity. Understanding the concept of lack and its impact is essential to grasp Lacan's complex ideas about the human psyche and its relation to well-being.

The Mirror Stage:

Lacan's concept of lack begins with the mirror stage, a critical phase in a child's development, usually occurring between six and eighteen months of age. During this stage, the child recognizes their image in a mirror and identifies with it as a cohesive, whole self. However, the child's perception of wholeness is illusory, as it does not match the fragmented reality of their being.

Desire and the Other:

Lacan argues that this initial experience of wholeness is followed by the realization of a lack, a sense that something essential is missing within oneself. This lack arises from the infant's dependency on others, particularly the primary caregiver (often the mother), for their needs and desires to be fulfilled. The Other, in Lacanian terms, refers to the person or entity who has the power to fulfill those needs, but they also represent a source of separation and frustration due to their inability to satisfy all desires fully.

The Symbolic Order:

The lack experienced by the child leads to the formation of the symbolic order, a system of language and cultural symbols that mediate between the individual and the world. The symbolic order shapes how individuals perceive themselves and their place in society, but it also introduces a sense of alienation and incompleteness.

Desire and Unattainability:

In Lacanian theory, desire is not about obtaining what is lacking; rather, it is the pursuit of an unattainable object. The object of desire remains elusive, as its satisfaction would mean the end of desire itself. This perpetual longing for fulfillment and the impossibility of its achievement can impact an individual's well-being, leading to frustration, anxiety, and a constant sense of unfulfillment.

Impact on Well-being:

The concept of lack profoundly affects an individual's well-being by shaping their relationship with themselves, others, and the world. The feeling of incompleteness and the search for the unattainable can lead to feelings of existential angst and a sense of alienation from oneself and others. It can also contribute to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.

Desire and Fantasy:

Lacan suggests that individuals attempt to fill the void of lack through fantasy. Fantasies provide a way to imagine a sense of wholeness and satisfaction, even if they remain unfulfilled in reality. While fantasies can serve as coping mechanisms, they can also become sources of suffering if they persistently reinforce the unattainability of desires.

Therapeutic Implications:

In Lacanian psychoanalysis, addressing the concept of lack is crucial for therapeutic progress. Understanding how the lack shapes an individual's desires, fantasies, and self-perception can help uncover underlying emotional conflicts and provide insights into the root causes of psychological distress. By exploring and integrating the concept of lack into therapy, individuals may find greater acceptance of their inherent incompleteness and develop healthier ways of coping with desires and frustrations.

In conclusion, Jacques Lacan's concept of lack is a central pillar of his psychoanalytic theory, profoundly impacting an individual's well-being and self-understanding. The experience of lack, desire, and the perpetual pursuit of the unattainable shapes how individuals perceive themselves and their place in the world. Acknowledging and addressing this lack can have therapeutic implications, offering opportunities for self-awareness, growth, and a more nuanced understanding of human subjectivity and well-being.

Freud

I love this Freud book clutch at Olympia Le-Tan.
Fall 2013, Paris.

Passion feeds Lust when the Trust is questioned

Brazilian beauties - Round-ing up at Brazil's Fashion Week fall/winter 2013

                                            Backstage, Brazilian beauties prepare for the runway. 

BOTERO WOULD LOVE THIS.

Obese Brazilian models walked the runway at Sao Paulo's Fashion Weekend Plus Size (FWPS). In a country noted for its stunningly beautiful women, including notable exports like Gisele Bündchen, Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio, to see these Brazilian beauties in the Saturday show proudly display their round shapes was a clever wink to a discerning audience. 

The fashion show, one of the most important in Latin America, is designed to celebrate plus-sized women, and was created by journalist and writer Renata Poskus Vaz. "The Plus Size Fashion Weekend grew. And when I say that, I am not just referring to the increased number of brands participating in each edition, because it is basically the same,"  but the event has become a business lounge and in addition to the catwalk, labels expose their creations so retailers throughout Brazil can analyze and buy them to resell in their stores. Today I see how FWPS has been important in the growth of plus size fashion in Brazil, making a marginalised fashion scene glamorous."




Photos: reuters 
Source: International Business Times

in ba

Take a walk and breathe.

summer