Silvina Ocampo on love

"They loved eachother with tenderness, passion and faithfulness. They tried to always be together and when they had to separate for whatever reason, they thought about eachother so much that their time apart was also a way of being together, more subtle, prudent and avid"

Silvina Ocampo,
Los dias de la noche

The "complete" mother

It's a known fact that parents are responsible for the kind of person that their children become as they grow. For those who are constantly trying to be good parents and find themselves in in the roller coaster that this adventure can become, Stephen B. Poulter, a psychologist who specializes in family relationships gives us some clarity.

Un- complicate

- F: Pleasure is never simple, as you very well know.
- J: It is, until we decide to complicate it.

Freud to Jung on the film A Dangerous Method.

Life is too short to...

* not fall in love deeply

* have a job that you don't love

* postpone getting a ticket to go to that place (or places) you've been dreaming of

* not tell people how you feel

* not be who you really are

* not dance and sing MORE

* not spend a quiet day with yourself

* not help make a difference

* not feel gratitude (for the small things also)

* not be a better sister, brother, daughter, son, mother, wife, husband, father, friend, grandfather, grandson, grandaughter...

* not tweet

* not be the best at whatever it is that you do

* not smile

* be too worried about consuming chocolate, coffee, wine

* not read more

* not do sports as often as you can

* not spend more time in contact with nature

* not hug

* not take risks

* not be more curious



Please tell us what other things "life is too short to..." miss. We'd love to know your thoughts on this. xx

BJöRJ

Welcome to Buenos Aires, Björk!

The manifesto for visual culture from Rencontres d’Arles.

via Swiss Miss

Easter travel ideas

As usual, at this time of the year, I like to recommend Easter travel ideas so that you give yourself the time to relax that you deserve. Let's open this door together to explore this little paradise. Los Cauquenes Lodge in Ushuaia, Argentina (also known as the end of the world)  is beautiful and the natural landscapes are breathtaking. If you love a mix of adventure and relaxation, start saving today. It's not easy on the pocket, but you will enjoy.











































































above, the view from my suite.
below, the end of the world train

below that, chasing waterfalls















































Patagonian Fjords, amazing!!

















































More fun after long, adventurous days. Nice bar at Kaupé, one of my favorite restaurants in Ushuaia.

Photos 1,3,4, 5 courtesy Los Cauquenes

The Tao

We recently found a copy of the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tsu. Have you read it? if you haven't, we recommend it. The book was a gift from Michelle's father. In the dedication, he noted that, as a boy, he had the chance to be in a lecture by a famous physicist at the university. He was 16 then. Her father asked the physicist what book would he recommend if he could only choose one. To which the physicist replied: the Tao.

It is, in our opinion a difficult book to understand, at first. Perhaps, a good idea is to read it a couple of times. We value the teachings of the Tao because of how different they are to Western values. We were taught, for example, that when we feel that change is necessary, it can be achieved through effort and perseverance. Contrary to this thought and more aligned with the theory of Acceptance, the Tao, says that we should accept what is in front of us without wanting the situation to be other than it is.

We should study the natural order of things and work with it rather than against it, for to try and change what is, only sets up resistance. It teaches us that nature provides everything without requiring payment or thanks. The idea behind the Tao is to let yourself flow as freely as possible.

Whatever you're trying to accomplish, it will happen more naturally if you stop looking for results and value the "trip", walk that path.

If your mind is calm you will come to "understand" which means "to stand under". Te - which may be translated as "virtue" or "strength" lies always in Tao, or "natural law" in other words: Simply be.

To Westerners who may disagree, or are not willing to accept a different perspective, this may just be a "Chineese tale*"!

But, a good one to think about.



*Chineese tale is the translation for "Cuento Chino" an Argentinian Film with Buenos Aires- born actor, Ricardo Darín

Acceptance

How many times do we expect from another person to be something that they’re not? How often are we dissatisfied because of things that we have not been able to get or achieve? How often does life pass us by, while we are upset because we’d like for things to be different?

It’s not about losing hope or settling for less than our dreams. Comfort and gratitude are good states unless they prevent you from reaching your full potential. It’s about acceptance. It’s about understanding that we don’t have control over everything; we can’t live our lives trying to change things or people into what we want them to be. Accepting is understanding that for now, this is the way things are. At least for now. At this moment in time.

Sometimes, the best you can do is do everything that you can and then simply wait. To accept does not mean that you have to change your plans (although you may want to) it means that you have to  contemplate them, evaluate them all while embracing the current state of things. 

To accept is to live in accordance with your own being. It’s about having the courage of living your own life, and not subordinating yourself to someone else’s plans. Often, the fear of being “excluded” can lead to adapting our wishes, expectations or decisions to those expectations from who we want a (false) acceptance.

To accept is a commitment to ourselves; to be honest about the way WE feel and think.

The theory of acceptance invites us to live our lives now, without travelling to the past or the future, so that we don’t lose focus. To accept is to be in touch with reality, with the present time, with what is happening here and now.

It’s liberating to think that once we stop being a fighting force and let things flow more naturally with what we have, we will breathe and feel a certain clarity and joy, not leave everything to the whims of uncertain times. After the rain, the sun always shines. If it’s raining today, try walking in the rain.

I leave you with a gift, below these lines: 

“Go to the Limits of Your Longing”

“God speaks to each of us as he makes us,

then walks with us silently out of the night.

 

These are the words we dimly hear:

 

You, sent out beyond your recall,

go to the limits of your longing.

Embody me.

 

Flare up like a flame

and make big shadows I can move in.

 

Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.

Just keep going. No feeling is final.

Don’t let yourself lose me.

 

Nearby is the country they call life.

You will know it by its seriousness.

 

Give me your hand.”

RILKE

Sources:

Extract from an article I read yesterday.
LNR
This article is written by Jose Antonio García Higuera, a psychologist from Spain.
Translation: Michelle Cameron
Photo courtesy: Vogue UK

Poem: RILKE

have a nice weekend!

Punta del Este, Uruguay.

Thirty Something

You know that song "Paradise" by Coldplay? there is a part that says: "life goes on, it gets so heavy..."

After thirty, people start to have issues. Not that we don't have them before but when we're twenty, for example, who cares if we screw up? I mean isn't that what young people do? At thirty, however, it's a different story and we become more demanding of ourselves. We expect something more from our lives.

Deep conversations with people in their thirties, friends mostly, have led me to realise the diversity of needs and wishes that people have:

- Some are looking for a partner.

- Some people want to quit their jobs and get a ticket to go see the world.

- Some are looking for a job (or a better job)

- Some are looking for a new apartment or house.

- Some want a husband who is more connected to the family.

- Some people want to make more money.

- Others want a divorce.

- Some people want kids.

- Some people want to fall in love with their partner all over again.

- Some men want their wives to work or study or just do something different than spend all day with the kids.

- Some want to have sex with their wives again.

- Some people don't know what they want.


Those are just some examples, but the important thing, I think, is to not feel alone in whatever your "search" is. Just remember that there are many people in their thirties with issues just like you. Remember also, that there is a direct link between how we see the world, the actions we take and the results we get.

Once we understand this, we are free to make the change or changes that will bring us closer to our truest wishes and needs.

Observer

Peter de Meyer

Happy Valentine's Day

Image via imgfave.com

Friends

She's told me that I'm "the sister she never had" imagine what a thrill that is.

She makes me laugh until tears fall out and my stomach hurts. She makes fun of me when I'm too serious. She questions me. Sometimes, she makes me think that I'm brilliant and sometimes that my ideas are too naïf.

She trusts me and tells me everything openly and honestly.

She believes in me.

Her heart is infinite. If I say that I like her shoes she'll ask if I'd like to change them for mine. If you like a lamp or even a piece of furniture in her house, she will say "take it".
She gives for the pleasure of giving.

We've studied and worked together and she has always challenged me when I have not met her expectations (or my own) because she expects more, because she knows I am capable of more and does not want me to settle for less. She is passionate about the things she does and does not like mediocrity.

When I have a negative view of myself, she gives me thoughtful words, she cheers me up, or she's simply there.

I met her in class at the university. I was lucky.

Every year we travel to "some" place. We meet, we choose the place and after a short time, we're gone!

Last year I had surgery. When I was about to receive anesthesia, the doctor told me: "Now think of something nice" and I saw my friend! Yes, I saw both of us in a convertible car going from Carmel to San Francisco. We were singing and laughing. I imagined I had a handkerchief in my head, and that it flew. Eventually, we took this trip and it was better than I had imagined.

If I had to "think of something nice" again, I would imagine us dancing. She dances with this same step since we were 20; one hand up in the air, perhaps a drink in her other hand and always a smile in her face as she moves to the rhythm of the music.

Last November we went to Barcelona. She posted a few photos of our trip but I wanted to add more words to those photos. On that trip, we were lucky to meet other friends. Good friends, like us. We all met on a train, on our way to a bike tour of the vineyards in Spain. The four of us became close friends (you know, depth of friendship does not entirely depend on how long you know someone) and spent almost every day together til our journey ended. One of them lived in Washington D.C. and was visiting the other who was living in Barcelona. On a cold Saturday afternoon we separated from our new friends. It was time for everyone to part. It was weird to say bye.

On our way to the airport my friend was quiet. I thought she was sleepy but later on she said that she was feeling a bit emotional; that as we drove away from the city in the taxi, she re-lived every moment of our trip.

I think friends are a gift and I am thankful for the few, good ones that I have and for the memories that we create together.

Hugs!

Post by: Valeria Mendez Cañas

she, he

"That was one of the saddest things about people- their most important thoughts and feelings often went unspoken and barely understood. -A.Adornetto



photo- whiskey straight

"dusa"

It's always good to ask ourselves questions, no? here are some good ones.


Do you live well?
Do you love deeply?
Are you helpful?

and Three more:

Who are you?
What would you like to do with the rest of your life?
How will you do it?

Knowing ourselves is key in order to define what we want and how to accomplish it.

Punta del Este

Some people ask why Punta del Este vacation rentals cost so much, so I thought I'd write a little about prices, why I think some things cost what they cost and why renting a property in Punta del Este is not so easy on the pocket.

When you pay (what you consider) a high price for something it's usually because it has been recommended, you're familiar with the brand, like it and trust it or because your perception is that it's a good product or service and that it's worth it. For every authentic, luxurious product or service out there, there is a (not authentic) version of it at a cheap price. This, we know and this applies to almost anything you can think of: clothes, watches, wine, travel, handbags, coaches, brokers, etc.

So why not get the cheaper version? is a question that may rise. Cause deep inside we know that the cheaper version of our object of desire is not (really) our object of desire - even if at times we do end up getting the "other" version. However, if we are lucky enough to have the possibility to choose, in the end, we are most likely to choose (and support) upscale products/services. 

I would, therefore, like to extend the above concept to the cost of vacation rentals in Punta del Este without even going into details about perhaps more technical relevant variables such as land and construction prices, demand, etc.

So what are the other aspects that make exclusive properties expensive? Aside from the fact that Punta del Este is one of the most beautiful and desirable places on earth (and, I've done a great deal of traveling, since I was ... hmmm... born?) And it's not just me. Please ask anyone. It is a magical place. And so are these beautiful houses.

Each one of these villas has been hand picked by an experienced group of people who not have not only taken the TIME to personally inspect and photograph each villa in their portfolio, but also spend a lot of time with each one of the owners of these summer homes. Some (if not most) homes belong to Curiocity's owners, friends and family so the houses are known by heart; others are strangers who kindly open their doors to Curiocity (yes, just to them).

Clients of Curiocity are not just going anywhere. We are going to a magical place. In the experience of staying in one of these homes, we discover the love and effort that each one of the owners has put into their summer home. Each corner has a story, there are furnishings and objects from all over the world, books and music for lazy afternoons, flowers and candles, objects that have been passed from generation to generation, stunning art pieces, meticulously manicured gardens; ocean views, surrounding forests and lakes, helicopter pads. Semi-private beaches. Perfect lighting. Technology. Al- fresco dining; generous decks and swimming pools. There is soul and personality in each house. More importantly, behind each villa rental experience, there is a welcoming team of people (house staff, assistants, drivers, chefs, concierge, etc.) that wants us to feel at home and rest!

Just like other luxury products, Curiocity Villas' properties are ideal for people like us. People who love their work and work hard, people who get high on life and appreciate the good things: a nice dinner with friends, a sunset, or simply relaxing in a quiet, inspiring and private location with family, friends or your soul mate in one of the world's most beautiful places. Curiocity are always seeking unique villas that have something that makes them special. It's about memories that last. It's about emotion. And yes, the cost is on the high(er) side, but so is the experience. 

space and closeness

"...most humans have two contradictory impulses: we love and need one another, yet we crave privacy and autonomy." - Susan Cain


Photos: Punta del Este, Uruguay. The beautiful countryside, just minutes away from the beach. And the crowds.

Party

So I was one of those early birds at the beach the other day (I've noticed there are more of us now) you know... with some friends talking about "last night's party" and one of them who was reading a book said: "let me read you something" and continued: "it's funny..." I said: "ok" and I thought it was funny, so I thought I'd share it with you:

CELEBRATE WITHOUT TEARS.

...In fact, just planning to have fun is enough to ensure getting bored. The ideal would therefore be to renounce all celebrations. Unfortunately, the party animal is a figure so well respected that this renunciation could result in a weakening of the social image. The following tips should help to avoid the worst (staying alone until the end, in a state of boredom evolving into despair, with the mistaken impression that the others are having fun).

Be well aware beforehand that the party will necessarily fail. Visualize the examples of past failures. (LOL!!*) This does not mean to adopt a cynical and jaded attitude. On the contrary, humble and cheerful acceptance of the common disaster can lead to success: transforming a failed party into a pleasant occasion of banality.

Always anticipate coming home alone, in a taxi.

Before the party: drink. Alcohol in moderate doses produces a socializing and euphoric effect which has no real competition.

During the party: drink, but lower the doses... It is more thoughtful to take ½ of a Valium at the right time. Alcohol compounding the effect of tranquilizers will make you sleepy; that’s the time to call a taxi. A good party is a short party.

After the party: call to offer your thanks. Wait quietly for the next occasion (an interval of one month, which can shorten to a week during vacations).

Finally, a consoling perspective: with the help of aging, the obligation to party diminishes; the penchant for solitude increases; real life takes over.


Extract from Michel Houellebecq's book, Interventions.
Photo: Chivas party in Punta del Este, Uruguay, the other night, taken with my mobile phone.
* that's a personal comment