men

Photo: Ricardo Darín for Etiqueta Negra


One of the reasons why I like Psychology is that after years of studying it and practicing, you develop this ability to stop, contemplate and start again; to alter reality in a way that is suitable to yourself. I realize not everyone can acquire these skills nor is courageous enough to face his or her own limitations, but what happens when one accepts reality as it comes, without questioning it?

Let's take the concept of manhood, for example, and examine it. Although roles have changed somewhat in Argentina, in the popular imaginary men are taught to act tough, to be like "machos".

Traditionally, boys are educated by their mothers. Although in modern times, fathers are more active when it comes to child care, most fathers continue to be busy working and trying to be successful while most mothers stay home. This shortage of contact between sons and fathers creates an emotional gap between them in which there is perhaps not enough room for bonding, for closeness. This is why, it is in childhood, that boys often develop difficulties in learning what relating to other men is like.

They turn to their mothers with whom they talk, share their problems, their successes and failures, their everyday life. Boys see their father's through their mother's eyes. Boys are taught to "be strong" and to "put up" with things. What later happens when these boys become men is that they want to overcome the pain this has caused them without really dealing with it.

Facing that pain means accepting and talking about their father's failures and also dealing with change.

We like the work of Guillermo Vilaseca, who has thought about some of these issues deeply and has developed a program for men. They meet to think about themselves, their masculine condition and their relationship with the world, their fathers, their sons, women and work.

Men are used to having power, being tough, feeling important, proud and sure of themselves. But things are changing and the world is moving to a more feminine, communicative, empathetic, intuitive style.

Some men are receptive to this change, they understand that it’s not always about power, strength, dominance, etc. Mr. Vilaseca's work, along with various studies in Psychology show that when distances in bonds are shorter, individuals are likely to better off in their relationships.



Post by: Valeria Mendez Cañas
Editor: Mich Cameron

you and i

Good, healthy love feels relaxed and comfortable. This does not mean there will not be differences or arguments. One can argue comfortably because there is respect, and when you are reaching a war zone you realize it is better to stop before you hurt your partner. You both know that it’s not a matter of winning or losing. It’s not a competition.

Communication, as we know, is one of the most important factors in a relationship. Being able to communicate and to pass on to your partner a message without interference is key in a healthy relationship. When there is love between two people who are responsible for their words or their acts, no one is afraid of being misunderstood and communication is clear, even when what is being said may be painful or irritating.

Good communication does not leave doubts or double meanings, and it never tries to get a speculative advantage of the other. Arguments are used in a positive way, arguments are used to build agreements.

In love, the other one is always on the same side of the street, although his or her thinking may be different because caring is what is most important in the relationship. As you see, true love is the one that has gone past the barriers of being in love and the narcissistic period of the relationship.

In love, there is happiness for the other's happiness. His or her own existence produces happiness; this is only possible with people who feel free, sure of themselves, independent and satisfied with their own lives.

People with the capacity to love are generous and thankful. They value their present and don't cry over what they never had or think they should have had. They have a great capacity to learn and a hopeful outlook on life.

In your opinion, what other points make a relationship healthy?


Patricia Faur - Estres conyugal, Ediciones B, Bs. As., 2011.

University of Buenos Aires.

The University of Buenos Aires today.

The University of Buenos Aires (UBA) was created between 1861 and 1873. The founders thought that education, science and technology were the keys to national progress and autonomy. This was the golden era of Argentina. Education was one of the government's top priorities, particularly, elementary school. The government provided free, public, non religious education and adapted school programs with the aim of facilitating
entrance to university.

Unfortunately, the evolution of public education has been parallel to that of Argentina itself. Education has become disorganized, politicized. Administrative jobs are assigned politically, budgets are permanently short and faculty strikes are common.





















There has been a lively public debate in recent years on how to change UBA
and improve its funding, but not much has been achieved. Because the university is free, chaotic and looks surreal, it remains a mystery how great minds come out of there. Here is a list of some of its students, researchers and graduates' recent achievements:

A team from the Law School won the Philip C. Jessup International Law Moot
Court Competition, 2007-2008 edition.

In 2007 a doctor from the University of Buenos Aires won the L Oreal prize
for Unesco for Women in Science. A doctor in Physics, from the same
University had previously obtained it in 2003.

The Program for Climatic Change created by UBA researchers has been recognized worldwide and some of its members make up the Intergovernmental Panel for Climatic Change, project that contributed to making Al Gore win the Peace Nobel Price in 2007.

Dr. Mónica Pinto, President of Eudeba (UBA's publishing company), was awarded the National Order of Merit from the Embassy of France for her outstanding work in Public International Law.

2006 Konnex prizes to the best figures in Argentine humanities were awarded to 17 members of UBA, members of the faculty, researchers and graduates.

UBA research teams work on subjects such as biodiesel, nanotechnology, advances in breast cancer and climatic change.

UBA Graduates won prizes at the International Research Scholars (2007-2011), Howard Hughes Medical Institute and the Prize Young Animal Scientist (2007).

A student from the School of Natural Sciences is the creator of Google Sky, a tool that lets you see images of the sky.

Going back in time, out of five Nobel Prize Winners that Argentina has, 4 graduated from the University of Buenos Aires and one from the National University of La Plata.

UBA, is another metaphor that well describes our country: so contradictory, so terrible, so marvelous.

Garabito

Ricardo Garabito "El Banquete" pencil, tempera and watercolor.
Courtesy Malba, Buenos Aires.


Ricardo Garabito's art is not frequently seen in Buenos Aires. He cannot exhibit his work every year because it takes him more than that to evolve. He is not the type of artist who would hang his work anywhere just to be "in" the artistic scene of Buenos Aires. It is only after working on numerous paintings that he feels he can choose the best ones and show them to the public. Born in 1930, he has exhibited his work only 11 times. That's why Malba's exhibition of his oil paintings, drawings and watercolors until August 29 is special.

Critics say he is a realist. He paints human figures and still life but uses color as the Fauvists did, chooses subject matters as the surrealists did, puts 3-d figures in 2-dimensional backgrounds and has a peculiar way of using light. Fitting him only into the category of realism would simply not be enough.

His topic is ordinary life. He depicts men, women, still life and a lot of plastic: bottles of bleach, bathroom cleaner, buckets, milk bottles and food cans. His most interesting characters fit into the category of "mersas", an Argentinism used in the 60's and 70's referring to people that did not take care of their own manners or personal appearance.

Some of his models have unfashionable hair cuts from neighborhood's beauty salons, men appear wearing white under t-shirts and women wear fashion items in their chubby bodies and in the most unfashionable way possible. Garabito's characters are anti heroes! His painting is ironic, borders on vulgarity and funny. He has seriously managed to laugh at the aesthetics of every day life.

Garabito studied painting for three years until his teacher - Horacio Butler - told him it was time to move on. He realized that if he was going to paint, he could not copy what other colleagues were doing in an attempt to fit in. He decided to be authentic, to be himself, and that, he achieved indeed.

On view at MALBA: Avenida Figueroa Alcorta 3415



Post by: Valeria Mendez Cañas.

If you like Italian

This time in Punta del Este, I discovered L'Incanto in the heart of Punta's Gourmet hub. It’s about a year old. Joining La Bourgogne and Le Table de Jean Paul - among other prestigious restaurants in this part of the peninsula, L'Incanto definitely lives up to its name: the charm


















L'Incanto integrates warm, intimate interiors with gorgeous gardens, water, stone and wood. The outdoor area is ideal for eating on a nice summer night. Or, you can go to a semi-covered area during winter, good for an after dinner cocktail- with a heater that is! like my friends in the photo above.

check out the bar (it's empty cause we were the last ones to leave, lol)

The menu includes pasta, risotto, meat, fish and a good wine list. We tried their salmon gravlax, steak, pizza and a chocolate volcano with berries, sprinkled with mint. It was all good.

I'm happy to see that Punta del Este is expanding its cuisine options.

We liked L’Incanto and will be going back for more. We hope you like it too. 

Address: Pedragosa Sierra Esquina La Paloma.

dia del niño

Paintng by Milo Lockett


Argentina celebrates a peculiar holiday this coming Sunday. We call it "Children's day" and I thought it would be a good opportunity to talk about childhood.

Childhood is the stage where it all begins. There is a lot of potential in that stage that develops over time. Much has been said about raising children but I think it has to do, foremost, with having a loving/positive relationship with them and your partner. You have to be encouraging and respectful at the same time. That simple, that hard.

To me, teaching/helping children to become INDEPENDENT is key. Once they achieve that at home and feel confident about themselves they will be able to use that confidence as a resource in life. Independence should not be imposed, it should be taught as something to conquer.

When I think of childhood, I think of these words: play, fun, games, friends, treats, toys, swimming, affection, sports, feelings, proximity, assurance, trust, simplicity, creation, fights, hardships, learning, laughter. Francoise Dolto, a famous French psychoanalyst, once said in her book The Cause of Children: "The sources of knowledge are found in children. They are metaphysical. They are beings that ask themselves true questions. As metaphysicists, they look for answers."

In Childhood, playing is the way to independence, a way to find one's own answers. Playing is natural and universal. It is the space we use to develop our potential. It is where children learn to control what they couldn't handle before, it is a creative experience in which their inner world, their own subjectivity is projected, it is a basic way of life. Playing helps us develop, it makes us feel omnipotent, gives us great pleasure and satisfaction, it surprises us, it is where we learn to trust ourselves, where we develop our self esteem.

Unfortunately, some of the spontaneity of childhood fades away in adulthood. We get too taken up by, as The Little Prince would say, "the adult world". I can think of someone that has not lost that freshness, Argentine painter Milo Lockett. He became famous a few years ago when he won ArteBA's most important prize. Everyone in Argentina has heard of him, and his works are purchased massively. He lives in the province of Chaco, he paints images of children, women, men and animals the same way a 4-5 year old would. His style, critics say, fits the category of "art brut". Milo has taught himself the skill, he learned to paint in childhood, he was passionate about it. His art is uncontaminated by artistic conventions, his work is spontaneous and his images, simple. Milo defines himself as an adult that never stopped being a child. I think Milo's case illustrates what childhood is and how it often continues, creatively, later on in life. Perhaps it is this that drives the masses to consume his work.

Happy Children's Day to your kids and to your inner child!

Post by: Valeria Mendez Canas

A Matter of Faith

Photo: Gustavo Cerati


The former lead singer and guitarist of Soda Estereo, Gustavo Cerati, icon of Argentinian pop culture, has been in a coma for a year and three months now.

Explaining Argentinian culture to English speakers can be complicated at times, because, just as some feelings are often hard to explain, so are some terms or expressions in Spanish. However, referring to visual or auditory aids such as art or music helps a person to get a better understanding of things or events.

There are other things that are hard to express, as well, in any culture: whatever isn't working right, illnesses that come to us as a surprise and the way we are confronted with someone’s departure. Explaining Gustavo Cerati combines all of these ingredients. Cerati's songs defined a great part of the 80's generation in Argentina and so did the band's look and identity. Maybe you've heard a Soda Estereo song? songs such as "Signos," "Persiana Americana," "Lo que sangra," "Doble vida," “Cuando pase el temblor” and "Ella uso mi cabeza como un revolver" were popular on MTV even when it didn't have a Latin American Music section. I hope you've heard some of these songs and perhaps understood the strength they have. If you haven't you can just click on the links above.

Gustavo suffered an cerebral vascular accident while performing during a concert in Caracas, Venezuela in May of 2010. Although he’s been in a coma for a very long time, we continue to hope and pray for him to get better.

¡Fuerza Cerati!


Post by: Valeria Peimer
Photo: Cosas de autos

Buenos Aires Tango Festival and World Dance Competition

In this photo: Client of Curiocity Travel

Tango will be the star this month as the Buenos Aires Tango Festival and World Championship begins, on August 16. It will take place at the "Centro de Exposiciones", located at Av. Figeroa Alcorta and Pueyrredon, but there are also performances scheduled at 25 de Mayo Theater and de la Ribera Theater.

If you've already seen a tango performance or if you've been to a "milonga" and feel passionate about tango you can choose from a variety of events organized by the Ministry of Culture of Buenos Aires: dances or "milongas," tango classes for different levels, workshops, conferences, fairs, tango films, shows and concerts.

This festival is interesting because it gathers tango dancers of different ages and places. This generational mix as well as the background diversity, allow you to appreciate different tango styles. In "milongas," the music that will be played will vary: in some cases an orchestra will perform live, in others there will be recorded music or sometimes electronic tango. It will be tango's Tower of Babel!

Don't miss the finals of the Tango Championship at Lunapark Theater. August 29th will be the finals for tango salon category and August 30th will be stage tango's turn. All tickets are free, but you need to plan ahead to obtain them in advance. You can check www.festivales.gob.ar/index.phtml for more information.



Post by: Valeria Mendez Cañas

Finding happiness

Photo: Lucian Pellat Finet


A trait that applies generally to the people of Argentina is Pessimism; Argentines tend to see the negative side of everything. One explanation for this is that our country was originally made up of foreigners who missed their homelands and who were sad because of this. That sadness and the resulting negative outlook passed on from
one generation to the next.

Paul Watzlawick has a book called "How Real is Real?," in which he discusses the influence people have on reality. What is real, I think, is what we make out of life. As children, we are mainly influenced by what goes on inside our families, and that sticks to us, so if you have suffered a negative event and given it a certain amount of relevance, it tends to add some grey to your life, to make it sadder. The more space you give it, the busier your head will be, in a negative way. If you ignore it, it will seem invisible, but have an effect in your life (bother you, still).  What we are not always taught while we are growing up is a positive way to deal with situations.

We are often taught single sided answers to situations when there are many. We are taught one person is the leader, the other the disciple; one person is the victim, the other the offender; one has a passive role, the other has an active role, and this isn't always the case. Whoever plays the victim likes to play that role, and has probably contributed to the situation. Perhaps it's necessary to find an offender to be upset with. Is acting the victim a good position in life, or is playing the role of offender better?

Some currents of Psychology focus on a person's traumatic events so that they don't interfere with their life today. However, due to the fact that psychologists need to remain neutral during the course of a treatment, they don't guide patients enough on their way towards happiness. The work for it to be meaningful and lasting has to be done by the patient. A lot of psychologists are themselves are searching for happiness. Freud said that a psychoanalytical treatment offers relief but does not guarantee happiness. The key to happiness lies inside our own heads and a viable way to be at ease with ourselves is to take time to learn about ourselves and our issues, knowing that there is not only one solution to a problem but many and that it is up to us to stretch our minds so as to search for those answers.

When a child is diagnosed with ADD, Attention Deficit Disorder, what can his parents do? Can they just give medications? The words in the diagnosis itself are indicating the problem: deficit, lack of attention. Aren't parents capable of realizing that their child is acting strangely as a way of demanding more attention? Perhaps children diagnosed with ADD are just bored. Does anyone ever think about that? Medication in such cases does not necessarily solve the problem. It just suppresses a child's feelings.

When someone is diagnosed with "Depression", is it necessary to accept the diagnosis, or is it better to decide to overcome that state of mind?

Martin Seligman, the founder of a movement in Psychology called Positive Psychology, says we should be aware of but not get stuck on the issues that bother us, or the mistakes we have made. We shouldn't ask ourselves in regards to those events, "Why was I such a fool?".

I think happiness has more to do with being positive, forgiving, with having good expectations and most of all, with being active and pushing things so that they go the way you want them to go, not thinking that reality has already been determined and that you have to accept it.



Post by: Valeria Mendez Cañas - associate psychologist

winter food

It’s not easy to define authentic Argentinean food because there is a lot of influence from European immigrants, but, if one could get close, a dish called "Puchero" would certainly be it. Yes, we all know that steak is a very Argentinian dish but except for places like India, beef is quite common everywhere in the world, really.

Puchero on the other hand, although also an adaptation of a Spanish dish, is a typical Argentinian meal, not consumed (at least not the way it's made here), in other parts of the world.

The meal consists of serving various boiled meats and vegetables that are served separately plus a soup plate.

Argentines relate this meal to their families. It is a popular, "homey" winter-ish meal, used as an excuse to get together, to talk and enjoy. There are restaurants that prepare it, although it is not very common. The Plaza hotel makes a good one, it is served on Sundays. El Globo and El Imparcial are other well known and traditional places that serve it, or you could try Jose Luis'.


How do I make Puchero?

Put some music on and serve yourself and who ever else is in the kitchen with you some wine.

Boil 5 liters of water with a little thick salt, an onion cut in 4 pieces and leek. When it boils, add 2 kilos of beef and let it slowly cook for 45 minutes.

Add two breasts of chicken, 400gr of bacon and 6 chorizos (like a kind of sausage); 5 potatoes cut in half, 5 carrots, pumpkin cut in half, 5 sweet potatoes and celery.

When you consider that there are about 7 minutes left for it to cook, boil 5 corns. In a separate pot boil chickpea which sat in water since the night before. Serve everything in a big bowl, and the broth in a separate recipient as a starter. Add angel hair pasta or rice to it and voila! you have your Puchero.

Hope you like it, and please let us know if you have tried something similar, or what is your favorite dish on a cold winter day!

Restaurants:

El Globo: Hipólito Yrigoyen 1199, Bs.As.
El Imparcial: Hipólito Yrigoyen 1201, Bs. As.
José Luis: Quintana, Av. 456, Bs. As.

Via gourmet recipe and photo.

Seguí

Jardín Tropical


Antonio Seguí says he got interested in painting when he was 8 years old. He lived in Villa Allende, Córdoba, Argentina, in a rural area in the mountains. It was the 40's and there wasn't much going on in his town.
He grew up with his parents, sister, twin brothers and grandmother who was the one that urged him to pursue a career in art.
When he turned 18, his grandmother became his sponsor. With the money he got from her, he traveled to Paris to study but he wasn't a steady student in any academy, he only took courses on the topics of his interest and visited a lot of museums to learn.

When his grandmother, Ana, passed away, he quickly became an adult and decided that he was going to be an artist and he was going to live from his art work. He started traveling through Latin America and producing art and participating in exhibitions. He had a talent for connecting with other people, artists of all sorts and intellectuals. He set up his own workshop in the 60's in Paris and became famous by age 30.

What is most representative of Segui's work, a hallmark of his creations that helps us identify him, is a little country man with a black hat on his head that he often draws. He says he paints that little man all the time because it reminds him of his childhood in Cordoba. He uses the little man's figure in different ways, because, of course, he has evolved with him, so you see him in varied subject matters.

Women didn't use to be out in the streets so much back in those times, they were expected to be at home, with the family, that’s why he rarely paints them. He paints little men, preoccupied, minding their own business, staying in their own way, showing little concern for others. Antonio Seguí has never seen his grandfathers nor his father without a hat.

Seguí is 77 years old now, and works every day, from 7 am, even the weekends. What drives him to do that? 7 am is the time his little men in a hat wake up and come out for a walk on the streets of fragmented chaos and alienation, the same chaos he felt as a child, the same feeling he wonders about today. Those little men, he says, will help him paint his perfect picture. He feels that this has not yet happened for him, which is his reason to work and to hope everyday.

Check out his work at Mamba.

xx

Learn more about Seguí: Una charla con I. Schuliaquer. Ed. Capital Intelectual.

Post by: Valeria Mendez Cañas

Gustavo

Gustavo Santaolalla

"No city is like Buenos Aires" is the expression Gustavo Santaolalla uses to refer to our hometown.

I didn't know much about Gustavo Santaolalla until he won his first Oscar for "Original Soundtrack" for the film Brokeback Mountain. It was then that I became more curious and started to look into his work. We are from different generations and although Santaolalla has repeatedly said that he has two loves - Rock 'n' Roll and Latin Culture, his music was at first very influenced by Argentine "folk". Perhaps that explains why I was never going to listen to it... because as a teenager, I found it was "uncool".

His electrotango band "Bajo Fondo" however, got me interested in the way he had integrated his "loves" into his music introducing technology to make tango sound different, to bring it closer to other generations. I thought his was a unique idea.

Today, I read that he was from a neighborhood called "Ciudad Jardín". A very small and humble town in the Western section of the greater Buenos Aires area. And, though I still don't know that much about him, this article made me think about his dreams. There is a long way between Ciudad Jardin and Hollywood, California, to name a place he made it to. I can assure you this cause I know how far Ciudad Jardín is, even from Buenos Aires city.

He mentioned in this article that the streets in his hometown were made out of dirt and that services were very limited. He remembers coming to the city was a great, long, and exciting trip and that a common expression in his neighborhood was "I am going to the capital", meaning the city of Buenos Aires. The distance he had to travel and the means of transportation he used to get to town were, at that time, far from convenient and it was a long trip indeed, but he remembers that every time that he arrived he thought: "this is everything they say about a great city, so many avenues! so many different people!"

I see his trip to the city as a metaphor for his later achievements. The trip was probably a little complicated and long, yes, but, in his head he knew the way and in his heart he had passion. He knew, also, how to let himself be surprised and how to surprise others with the ingenuity (the same ingenuity with which he discovered the city) that of the child that lives inside of him.

For your music and talent, thank you Mr. Santaolalla!

Photo:7dias
Post by: Valeria Peimer

it's love

What happens when things don't go the way we expect them to in a relationship? What happens when your partner becomes someone you don't like so much? Are you willing to retrace your steps? Is he or she? Are you willing to recognize your own doings or are you the one to blame it all on your partner?

Miguel Espeche is an Argentinian Psychologist whose work we have set our eyes on. He has coordinated workshops in Buenos Aires for 22 years. These workshops are quite famous in the city. The topics are so varied (bonding, sexuality, family, aging, working), there is something for everyone.

Here is an extract of one of his cases we have translated:

"He didn't take everything away"

"His departure left loneliness and a lot of pain. He took everything when he left". She felt lonely, infinitely sad and most of all, deserted.

For her, he had been the mirror in which she had reflected and recognized herself for many years but her mirror was no longer there. She found herself caressing her kids at night, telling them words she wasn't sure of, looking at the world through a cold glass. All this because he wasn't there, because she remained at their home surrounded by their furniture and the objects that had been theirs for ages, objects that now seemed soulless, like her.

For good or for bad she had given him everything, even her own identity. She had chosen to be the verb instead of the subject, not because she was foolish, but because that was the way things unfolded. For her, it was a relief to have someone assume matters concerned with her own being and she went with it, she did what she thought was expected of her, she turned into an echo, instead of being the source of sound.

Time went by and she was surprised to feel alive again. She began to feel new emotions, these emotions were not his echo, they came from her own self, a source she started to like and value as others did. He, on the other side, felt that he had taken with him his own shadow, the one that was obstructing her personal feelings, her voice. She began to have her own dreams and desires and realized that he didn't have much to do with that anymore. She started feeling better, happier. She concluded he hadn't taken everything, he had only taken a part of her history.

Today they are flirting again, although they are still separated (this is a real story that is taking place). I don't know how this story will end but it is interesting to see how it is developing. He has already said that he felt saturated by what first attracted him to her "being everything for her", the undeniable center of her attention. She had also liked delegating her own being in that man. He had "broken the rules" of the game saying he felt lonely and in need of the company of someone else's voice, not just an echo of his own".

We think that if things get out of balance, it is up to each person in the couple to rediscover love without turning the other person into (or becoming) the subordinate, which as the extract shows, can ruin a relationship.

There are no villains in relationships. If there is love, difficulties can be overcome by trying to understand what each person's contribution to its wrong doing is. By working together finding healthier ways of relating to one another the relationship will obviously bring a lot of satisfaction and happiness.

Migue Espeche once said: "Healthy people suffer from love, that doesn't just happen to fools or ill people. The people that have the courage to assume the risks love requires are however, probably the healthiest."




Translation by Valeria Mendez Cañas extract from the July issue of Sophia Magazine

ants at work

Since it's Monday, we thought it would be fun to remind ourselves (and share with you) some easy tips on how to work better. Most of these are quite obvious, but a nice reminder on how to be more productive while learning and having a good time.

How to work better

1. Do one thing at a time
2. Know the problem
3. Learn to listen
4. Learn to ask questions
5. Distinguish sense from nonsense *
6. Accept changes as inevitable
7. Admit mistakes
8. Say it simple
9. Be calm
10.Smile

*Good point. Let's stop here for a second. It's great to be connected (facebook, linked-in, twitter, asw, ) although it's a bit too much sometimes, no? this constant connection? how do you deal with the overload of information? how does it affect your work? how do you filter information? we'd love to know your thoughts on this and on what makes you work better, if you work.

Have a nice week!

xx

photo: peque

Palermo Exhibition

Don't miss James Joyce by Ana Lía Werthein at Dain Usina Cultural, you'll like it!




















I found out about this exhibition thanks to the kindness of one of our readers (we love our readers!) who sent us an email telling us that we should check it out. So I did!

The exhibition curated by Rodrigo Alonso, includes several of Ana Lía's works inspired by Joyce. Just as Joyce used all the literary resources available to him in his work, Ana Lía uses a rich repertoire of techniques including drawing, graphics, paint, manuscripts and watercolor painting in her exploration of Joyce, sharing with us her sensitive encounter with his universe via paintings, objects, sculptures, photography and mixed techniques.
























The artist who lives and works in Buenos Aires is also a psychoanalist.



From Tues. to Sun. from 10 - 21 hrs. Thames and Nicaragua St., Palermo.

winter

As winter has finally arrived in Buenos Aires, we figure it’s nice to spend some time indoors. Cooking is the activity that comes to mind with this cold weather, or... shall we say... eating!

If you are interested in improving your culinary skills, Lucullus, the Gastronomic French Association in Buenos Aires, is hosting its Winter Cuisine Cycle. These cycles, this year, are three, being this the second one. Next one will take place during the spring. Here is the program for the rest of the week. Thought you might like to attend.

Wed. July 20, 8 p.m.
Olivier Falchi, Le Sud chef, in Hotel Sofitel (Arroyo 841, Recoleta)
“Soups and Veloutés ”

Thur. July 21, 8 p.m.
La Cave à Vin- French wineries in Argentina in Escuela Vatel (Paraguay 1583)
French wine and Champagne tasting

Fri. July 22, 8 p.m.
Jean-Paul Bondoux, La Bourgogne's chef and owner & Jérôme Mathe, Le Café des Arts chef (Figueroa Alcorta 3415, Palermo)
“14 Juillet, Specialties from our provinces”

Sat. July 23, 10 a.m.
Bruno Gillot, L’Épi Boulangerie's chef inEscuela de Pastelería (Corrientes 4367, Cap.Fed.)
Pastries: “Puff paste and apples”

Sat. July 23, 2 p.m.
Olivier Hanocq, L’Épi Boulangerie's chef in Escuela de Pastelería (Corrientes 4367, Cap.Fed.)
Pastries: “Chocolate bombons”

Sat July 23, 7 p.m.
Toufic Reda and Emiliano Di Nisi, Tô Buenos Aires' executive chefs (Costa Rica 6000, Palermo)
“Garnishes and chutneys in Frapanese Cuisine”

For more information: http://www.lucullus.com.ar


Ahhhh! It's friend's day in Argentina today, what are your plans? restaurants will be bursting at the seams with people celebrating. Keep that in mind when planning your night out and... happy friend's day!

Proust

cuestionario Proust a Doisneau

air, earth, water

Random photos from Curiocity Villas - collection of beautiful vacation rentals in Punta del Este, Uruguay.  You deserve.

about a horse

I'm sure many of you have seen Secretariat? it's a film about an incredible, American race horse who won the Triple Crown and his owner, Penny Chenery Tweedy.

Aside from the fact that the film is entertaining, and that I absolutely adore that horse, there are other things that it made me think about:

Dynamics, chemistry, connection, synergy are some words that come to my mind. Sure, the horse had the genes, but it was the combination of that and the love of Penny that made him be the most he could be and her as well. It's so magical when that profound connection takes place between people (ok, in the film it's a horse) but you know what I mean. In Spanish there is a word - "cómplice" it's about the other person being with you, it's about collaboration. The English translation is "accomplice".

Preparation. Some people wonder why some things do not turn out the way they want. Well, a few questions that may help in understanding why are: are we prepared? have we done all that we can to learn as much as we can on a certain matter? have we practiced as much as possible and surrounded ourselves with people who know about our specific field/s of interest, in order to learn from them?

Believe in yourself and trust your instincts. Seems obvious, BUT do we always trust ourselves? Throughout the film we see Penny (the owner of the horse) face difficult situations with no support from family or friends cause they do not believe that she can do what she wants to do. Do what you want to do. You can listen to others, but do what makes you feel good. Often, it is those close to us that tell us that what we want is not possible to achieve. Be true to yourself and to your passions. There is a quote from Penny which I loved: "This is not about going back. This is about life being ahead of you and you run at it! Because you never know how far you can run unless you run".

Someone once said to me "if you do really well, people will not like you. If you do really, really well, people will be inspired by you". Secretariat is a story of love and extraordinary courage. That's inspiring. The horse and the owner both did really, really well. Against all odds.

A good team is crucial. Penny managed to put together a team of great people - the horse trainer, her father's secretary, jockey, stable hand, to name a few of the people that worked with her. They not only loved the horse, believed in him and her, but also worked relentlessly towards the same goal, giving Secretariat all the stamina to win the triple crown.

I hope you saw the film so that you can share with us the things that you loved or did not like about it.

xx

words on love

I've been away on a little trip and I've had time to think and time to listen. I've come across some interesting people and read some great articles on love and relationships that I want to share with you.

Freud said that when we fall in love, we fall for a reflection of ourselves. We love, in the other person, those aspects that are very similar to ours. Love, for Freud, is illusory and based on narcissism. Of course that kind of love only lasts for a while but, how do we continue to love our partner once we are past that stage? Love, as we know, has to evolve, to mature. Jacques Lacan said that love is giving our partner what we don't have. Which means: to love is to recognize your lack and give it to the other, place it in the other. It’s not giving what you possess, goods and presents, it’s giving something else that you don’t possess, which goes beyond you. Our own flaws are involved and that is how we love, with our flaws. He also stated that we love someone who really isn't who we think he is, reminding us to be aware that a lot of narcissism goes into love.

Nick Paumgaiten wrote in "Looking for Someone" in The New Yorker Magazine, an article referred to contemporary love and the ways people use the internet in search of a companion. He comments on the work of Gian Gónzaga who runs a site called eHarmony. It seems that this site, which is used to pair people up, was born after many years of interviewing couples. By watching the way they interact, they can predict wether the relationship is going to work out or not. They look for specific traits: How do you treat your partner? How are your comments? Are they positive? Are they negative? Are they assuring? Do you underestimate your partner? Do you use humor in order to bring up issues that trouble you? Can you use humor in a positive way? Can you create constructive solutions to your issues? Do you have problems solving skills? Who has them? One? or both?
They say that sometimes, you mate with someone you think is right for you but in reality he or she is not. All goes well until some kind of incompatibility arises: "Incompatibility can often be unperceivable until a couple is subjected to some kind of difficulty of the world's devising: problems involving health, money, children or work". They blame stress for it, of course, but I see it with a different light: situations start becoming more real, narcissism fades away with time. What now? I think it is at this point where a lot of couples split up. They trick themselves into thinking they will be better off alone or with someone that will provide another narcissistic high for them.

Dan Savage, expresses his view in July 3rd, New York Times Sunday Magazine article "Infidelity Keeps us Together". He argues that in his relationship what has kept him bound to his partner was his and her honesty and allowing each other to have sex encounters with other people from time to time.

Dan Savage writes a column for Seattle's The Stranger, called "Savage Love", very contemporary indeed but my thinking is more along the line of Lisa Appignanesi's, author of "All about Love". In an interview in this month's issue of Elle Magazine by Ben Dickinson, she says: "Marriage is interesting now because we want so much out of it, and it's strains are therefore telling, so we develop huge resources of invention and patience and durability to make it work ... You don't want to just say 'Nothing is good if it doesn't have a positive ending or it's only good if it's easy and smooth and always happy'".

In this space, we are always looking out for people that we consider that stand out in their personal fulfillment, we have mainly written about artists. We think that we, as human beings, are the only ones in command of the relationships we seek, we build, we nourish, we surround ourselves with. Once we find the right match, it is up to us to drive the relationship to its best state and because the skills it requires, anyone that believes to be constantly contributing in that sense, we consider an achiever (no need to be famous, just proud). Cheers to you then.



Post: Vale Mendez Cañas
Photo: Mich